A couple of things made me write this post:

First is this video by George Carlin, and the other is… well, cyclists. And specifically the kind of self righteous cyclists who think that cycling to work is not only cool and green, but also saves the planet. I’m not talking about those who have to cycle to work as they can’t afford any costlier vehicle, just those who can, but still cycle to work.

On Indian roads, people drive all sorts of vehicles in a single lane: cars, trucks, motorcycles, scooters, and of course cycles. Simple laws of traffic engineering (or a little common sense) tell us that in a lane, the slowest moving vehicle governs the overall speed in that lane. What do you think is the slowest moving vehicle then? Not only the cyclists decrease the overall speed in the lane, they also increase the overall chaos. Because the traffic is moving at a ridiculous speed because of the cyclists, the other vehicles are burning more fuel than they could have.

Add to this, I’ve never seen a cyclist stop at a traffic signal which doesn’t have a free left turn. The left is ALWAYS free for them. They have an awesome way of dealing with these signals. Just get off the cycle, become a pedestrian carrying a cycle, walk a few steps, get back on the devil and there you go. Because cycles are not motored vehicles, no traffic rules apply to them (I think), I’ve never seen a cyclewala getting a challan.

Talking about safety, it’s the most unsafe vehicle in my opinion. Cyclists seldom wear helmets (if they do, it’s more fancy than safe). Plus, because they consider themselves both motorcyclists and pedestrians, causes a lot of nuisance. For example, when they’re riding on their footpath (which every cyclist proudly does, and hates motorcyclists for it) causes confusion on the footpath and rage in the pedestrians. Also, when the slow moving cyclists (even when he rides the cycle like it’s stolen) rides on the main road, causes rage amongst the motorists. And a lot of road rage is not a good thing, definitely not safe.

If there’s anything worse than one cyclist on road, it’s two cyclist buddies. I can bet my life that 90% of the times these two cyclists would be traveling together, almost hand in hand. And they’ll do it till death (or their ways) do them apart. Such a scenario is almost unseen for any other kind of vehicle.

I know that in Mumbai, heaven exists at a place called Marine Drive. Not because it’s home to the rich and the influential, but that road is heavenly because cycling is BANNED there.