• I don’t believe in God but I’m very interested in her.
  • The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
  • If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
  • Eskimo: “If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?” Priest: “No, not if you did not know.” Eskimo: “Then why did you tell me?”
  • You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
  • I always like a dog so long as he isn’t spelled backward.
  • When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
  • Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.